In the gym today, I was reading Time magazine, and the story on the last page talked about presidential pets and the way that they reflected their owners’ character. That got me thinking; if I were to run for President, how would people characterize me in light of my dog, Simon. For those who don’t know, Simon is a six-year-old, ten pound Shih-tzu.
First, I need to make a confession. Simon was not originally my dog. It’s better you hear it here—rather than see it splashed across the pages of the National Enquirer. Of course, if a reporter were to look at a timeline, it wouldn’t add up: Jen has had Simon six years, we’ve been together for about four. The time lapse clearly shows that I couldn’t be Simon’s original owner.
But, even this revelation shows my true character. Obviously, I am honest about my life and background—even when the subject is somewhat painful. It also shows that I am willing to take on situations that might be difficult and that I adapt to change. It’s not easy to forge a relationship with a single mom of a two-year-old pup, but I stuck it out, and I am proud to say that I’m Simon’s step-owner.
Second, Simon is open minded. He answers to just about any name: Simon, Sime, Snick, Snicky, Poonch, Hey Stop That, No, or just about anything else. Like Simon, I am also willing to listen to people who have messages that are unfamiliar to me, or that call me names that I don’t necessarily like. In short, I am a uniter.
Third, Simon is loyal. Many times a day, he follows us around, step for step. He always wants to be there for us, whether he is barking at the doorbell, or lying on the couch to make sure the cushions don’t float away. I’m the same way. I would be here for the country, barking when the proverbial doorbell rang or “lying on the cushions” to make sure that our American ideals and way of life didn’t float away.
Additionally, Simon is cute. I do get flak from a few people about having such a little “girly” dog, especially when he is wearing one of his Christmas sweaters. Once again, I think this shows my willingness to accept varying viewpoints. In a society where traditional demographic and gender norms are rapidly shifting, don’t you want someone who is willing to accept a male dog that is “girly?” I certainly think so.
Finally, Simon is a strong supporter of individual rights. When I asked him a few years back what Supreme Court decision he would most like to see overruled, he told me that it was, “Bow” [ers v. Hardwick, the case that upheld criminalizing gay relations]. Simon stayed strong on the cause, and he got his wish in Lawrence v. Texas, when the Supreme Court gave gay couples a right to privacy in their own homes. Do I think that this level of constitutional law knowledge is normal in a pup? No, but that’s just how committed Simon is to basic human rights. Like Simon, I think that the constitution provides fundamental protections to all of us, and, if elected, I would pledge to make sure that those rights are respected.
In the end, I think that to know Simon is to love him. Or, at least I hope that is the case when the voters go to the polls.
On a side note, Simon asked that we report the results of recent Shih-tzu polling. In several recent opinion polls, Shih-tzus demonstrated a preference for their donkey toys over their elephant toys with a 4 to 1 margin. Is this indicative of the country-at-large? I don’t know, but come November there will be a lot of little paws pulling the Obama lever.
Simon shows off his toy, and candidate choice.
Tags: canine politics, Simon
